This is the sixth entry in the diary of Morag the Vampire

As you may have guessed by now, I am not the only nutcase in my family. As a matter of fact, there are a few of us who often are not allowed to go out without supervision. Nyx, being the most patient and one of the most responsible of us, is usually designated as “nanny,” though Andraste—our second eldest sister—occasionally comes along to help. Nyx generally describes the experience as being like having to run an outing for a bunch of psychotic kindergarteners. I myself have found that if I go out into “civilization” for too long, it becomes harder and harder to control my pyromania, and it ultimately becomes necessary for someone such as Nyx to be there to keep me from setting people’s lawns on fire. “Morag, I know they haven’t been watering, but just because it’s dry doesn’t mean you have to have to burn it.” “But it WANTS to be on fire!!” “No, Morag. NO.” “*whine*”
My younger sister Shinara is another quirky one. She always has to carry around this ratty black umbrella for reasons nobody is quite sure of; I don’t know if she just really hates the idea of getting rained on or what, but wherever she goes, it comes along. The problem is that too many people can freak her out, so you always have to keep a really close eye on her whenever you take her into an urban area. If she starts holding that umbrella like it’s the reincarnation of Excalibur, you know it’s time to take it away from her, or she will starting whacking people indiscriminately.
Hel is pretty well-contained around other people, but she has this weird fascination with little kids that I don’t quite understand. Nyx says it has something to do with finding innocence incomprehensible or some such, I don’t know. It’s not like she’s a pedophile or anything; as far as I know, she’s basically asexual. But combine said fascination with her creepy evil zombie stare, and you get parents crossing the street to stay away from her and occasionally calling the cops, which can add irritating complications to an otherwise simple outing.
My sister Sekhmet is even better at creating and manipulating fire than I am, and she’s also a bit of a firebug. But what you really have to worry about with her is fights. Sekhmet is a queen of warfare, and there is nothing she loves better than a good fight. If she can’t get her fill of bloodshed on the battlefield, she will take every possible opportunity to start a fight elsewhere, occasionally even randomly hauling off and slugging anybody who looks likely to hit back, though well-chosen insults usually suffice in starting something.
I remember when Nyx and Andraste had to take Hel, Shinara, Sekhmet, and me to the city all at the same time (we were going to meet bunch of werewolves at one of their inner-city havens). It was insane. A man walks past us and says hi, and all the following happens all at the same time: Nyx smiles and says hi back while attempting to restrain Shinara from whacking him with her umbrella, Hel gives him the lobotomizing zombie death stare, Andraste claps a hand over Sekhmet’s mouth to keep her from starting a fight, and I find myself looking him over to see if he’s wearing anything flammable. Altogether, it probably made for a pretty bizarre experience for the passerby. It was a testament to both Nyx and Andraste’s abilities that we made it there and back without having the cops called on us more than twice.
Humans sometimes say that “there’s one in every family.” In our case, basically our entire family is at least somewhat crazy and often completely psychotic. Nyx has to be the sanest out of all of us, but even she has her quirks. Then again, I suppose that a family of Vampires is by definition insane.